Top 5 Business Lessons from "Back to School"

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Top 5 Business Lessons from "Back to School"

"Listen, Sherlock. While you were tucked away up here working on your ethics, I was out there busting my hump in the REAL world. And the reason guys like you got a place to teach is 'cause guys like me donate buildings."

- Thornton Melon (Rodney Dangerfield)

The week was the 40th anniversary of the classic film, Back to School, I thought I would re-share this previous post...

The 1986 comedy Back to School, starring the legendary Rodney Dangerfield, is one of my all-time favorite movies. Not only is it filled with cheesy 80s nostalgia, the "Triple Lindy" dive, and Rodney's hysterical zingers, it's also chocked full of practical business lessons.

The premise of the movie is that a highly-successful, self-made, entrepreneur (Rodney), who owns a chain of "Melon's Big and Fat Clothing Stores," decides to go back to college with his son. However, because he has doesn't have any high school transcripts or SAT scores, he opts to donate a building - in his own name - to the university in order to enroll. What ensues is comedy gold, as an over-the-top, street-wise, rich guy tries to navigate a stiff "ivory tower" campus.

The reason the jokes work so well is due to the running conflict between Thornton Melon, who has been scratching and clawing in the real world for his entire life, and the arrogant Dean of the Business School. The Dean, a career academic named Dr. Phillip Barbay, who has never had to make a payroll or deal with investors, is unimpressed by Melon's success and feels that he knows better about the world of business.

One of the best scenes in the film is when Dr. Barbay is teaching an operations management course and proceeds to tell his students how they should go about building a manufacturing facility for their product (which to Melon's dismay is simply referred to as a "widget"). After Dr. Barbay outlines the how to of constructing a "four bay shipping dock with railroad access," Thornton is forced to interject:

Thornton Melon: "Oh, you left out a bunch of stuff."

Dr. Barbay: "Oh really? Like what for instance?"

Thornton Melon: "First of all you're going to have to grease the local politicians for the sudden zoning problems that always come up. Then there's the kickbacks to the carpenters, and if you plan on using any cement in this building I'm sure the teamsters would like to have a little chat with ya, and that'll cost ya. Oh and don't forget a little something for the building inspectors. Then there's long term costs such as waste disposal. I don't know if you're familiar with who runs that business but I assure you it's not the Boy Scouts."

Dr. Barbay (infuriated and seeing that the other students are now taking notes from Melon's advice): "That will be quite enough, Mr. Melon. Maybe bribes, kickbacks and Mafia payoffs are how YOU do business. But they are NOT part of the legitimate business world. And they are certainly not part of anything I am doing in this class. Do I make myself clear, Mr. Melon."

Thorton Melon: "Sorry, just trying to help."

Dr. Barbay: "Now, Mr. Melon's input notwithstanding, the next question is where should we build our factory?"

Thornton Melon: "HOW 'BOUT FANTASY LAND!"

"Hey folks... it's on me... Shakespeare for everyone!
 - Thornton Melon

Frequently recommended as a Top Ten movie for MBA students to watch, here are my five top business lessons to take away from Back to School:

Be cautious of where you get your advice. Heed the phrase, those who can't do teach. Starting a business is statistically one of the most difficult ventures a person can undertake (20% fail in year one, 30% fail by year two, 50% by year five, and 80% by year ten). Listening to advice from people who have never done it, simply because they have a degree in business, is laughable.

Learn to be a great communicator. If there is one thing Thornton Melon displays, it's great communication skills. He can persuade with the best of them and is equally comfortable speaking with the janitor, as he is the President of the university. To succeed in business you must be able to sell anyone, anything, at any time. Simply put - if you can't sell, you can't eat.

Learn to delegate as a leader. Despite his lack of formal education, Melon knows how to delegate work. Whether it's having NASA scientists do his astronomy homework, or hiring Kurt Vonnegut to write his book report, he is not indecisive nor does he drag out his decision-making process.

Don't take shit from anyone. While generous and funny, Melon is no pushover. He won't be taken advantage of. He's confident and always in control. He refuses to be bullied and doesn't allow people to play off his shortcomings.

Look out for number one, but don't step in number two. At the end of the film, Melon is asked to give the graduation commencement (as a Freshman). His advice to the graduates is simple, "It's a jungle out there. You gotta look out for number one, but don't step in number two." Simply translated: take care of yourself and get your own house in order before you start tangling with the real world. Life - and "Murphy's Law - are always around the corner to sneak up on you. Get ready to fight everyday.

If you haven't seen Back to School yet, I highly recommend it... both for entertainment purposes, as well as for improving your business skills. And, as Thornton Melon would say about grades and report cards, "A, B, C... what are you worried about? You're in the top three."

Stay safe and vigilant!

Luke Bencie